Shifting Perspectives: From 'I Hate Men' to Healing Love

I recently posted on Instagram about how women are collectively in an “I hate men” club, sometimes without even realizing it. 

In the post, I spoke about how my heart genuinely hurts for the amount of women I see in circles who are dishonoring men with their words and actions.

To be clear, I’m in no way saying I’m better than anyone who’s demonstrating this type of hatred, because believe me… I’ve been there. 

My slogan I used for years was, 

“I eat men alive.”

And I truly did eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

I would lure them into my web through sexual passes and tell them exactly what I knew they wanted to hear. 

I would do what I wanted with them and then spit them out. 

In hindsight, I now recognize that was me in my magic, being able to guide these men into situations with my psychic intuition and sensuality.

Everything is truly a tool or a weapon. 

Sometimes all I wanted was to know that I could grab his attention no matter what his circumstances were. 

Other times I wanted to be let in to a club without waiting in line. 

Other times I needed a place to stay whilst traveling. 

I come from multiple generations of single mothers - my mom, her mom, my great grandma have all been single women raising kids. 

The slogan my mom had my whole upbringing?

“Men are bad, men are mean.”

I remember as a little kid she’d come home from a date and I’d ask her how it went. 

Her response,

“Men are bad, men are mean.”

Ufff. I feel that distaste in my gut.

Men didn’t seem valuable to me, they seemed dumb and easy to beguile, to deceive.

From ‘I hate men’ to healing love

So what was it that changed my perspective?

Honest answer: MEN.

Men are the ones who changed my perspective.

Men have been some of my greatest teachers.

Along my own healing journey, I’ve been around some of the most presently powerful men. 

Men who are willing to see me in my shit and not give me advice. 

They hold me, care for me, nurture me. 

They stand up for me. 

Watch me as I go deep into my own underworld of emotions while I pour period blood all over my face and scream.

Then the next minute I’m dancing in front of the mirror laughing and smiling. 

He simply sits back, watches me in awe. Waits for the precise moment when there’s an opening for me to receive him. 

What else has changed my perspective?

Honoring my pain, rage, and fear of men. 

God damn, I can’t even count how many times I’ve:

screamed bloody murder into a pillow, 

beat my drum up while I let the disappointment sing, 

written angry letters and burnt them to a crisp.

It’s in these ceremonies where I let it rip, I let the raging bitch inside come out.

Good little girl needs to move the fuck aside for a moment here. 

I turn the lights on the stage, pull back the curtains… fully available for however she wants to express herself.

Otherwise, she shows up when I least expect it with men. 

Where the snake stabs its venom with words that he’ll remember for years to come. 

The passive aggressive bites, the belittling and deceitful language.

He becomes a small, sad and totally lost man.

Or it’ll show up with my girlfriends, where we create an ‘I hate men’ ripple out for the world to accept. 

A ripple of, it’s okay to belittle and hate men.

I will do whatever it takes to not have those circumstances happen around me. 

A man who doesn’t know who he is and how the hell to show up for himself, let alone his family and community.

This is a very dangerous man for our society.

When we have men who can’t stand up for themselves, what do you think they’re going to do with governmental policies?

Or taking care of our universal mama, Mother Earth?

How do you think they’re going to act in their home environment?

Is that the type of man you want taking care of your children?

This shit needs to fucking stop.

It starts with each and every single individual.

If you’re a woman reading this, I encourage you to express your rage in healthy containers. 

When you’re in a group of women and you witness the trajectory of conversation going towards the hatred of men, it’s up to you to steer it in a different direction.

Maybe it can be an opening to honor your collective pain, together. 

Truly, it’s been a commitment to loving men and having compassion for them. 

Ladies, we can work on this together and lean into love. 

Lean into love despite your pain and past trauma with men.

To soften and open your heart… that’s the biggest healing journey available for you.

Because honestly…I don’t know any other way to be an embodied woman.

An embodied woman has to be someone who loves men, deeply and intimately.

If you're seeking guidance and support on your journey towards healing and understanding, I'm here for you. As an intimacy coach, I'm dedicated to helping individuals like you navigate their emotions. Feel free to reach out to me for personalized sessions and insights. Let's work together to create a path towards greater love and connection in your life.