Personifying Your Genitals: A Powerful Approach to Body Acceptance

What if I told you your vagina or penis has its own personality? That if given an opportunity, they would tell you what they’re feeling and what they need? And that this will help you with body acceptance?

As an intimacy coach, the main thing my clients struggle with is body dysmorphia and negative self-talk when it comes to their genitals.

One of the first things I do when working with a new client is I ask them the following question,

“If I were having dinner with your penis or vulva, just like I go out on dinner dates with my friends, and I asked your penis or vulva how your relationship has been… how do you think your genitals would respond?”

Think of it like I’m a friend of both yours and your genitals. You are in a relationship with your genitals, think of it like that.

Sometimes when there’s a strain in the relationship, a disconnect of some sort, one of the people in the relationship might seek outside advice, or support.

I’m that support.

I’m here to be an ear, to help you both communicate with one another more effectively, to support you both in feeling heard and seen so you feel more connected.

I’ve done this with hundreds of clients, given them this same dinner date with me and the genitals scenario and asked them this same question.

By having a conversation with your divine parts as if you were talking to a partner, you can tune into what your vagina or penis is feeling and how you can nourish them.

This approach gets you back to zone zero – yourself – and allows you to appreciate and celebrate your sexual center as a source of creativity, beauty, and pleasure.

I wonder what might come up if you gave yourself a moment right now to sit in silence and see what your genitals had to say about your relationship with them.

Maybe you literally hear something, a word or a sentence.

Maybe you feel a sensation in your body.

Maybe you see, visualize something.

Maybe you notice an emotion coming up to be felt.

Or perhaps there’s a numbness or nothing comes up.

It’s all great information to have, whatever happens.

I always encourage my clients to keep sitting in it, give it a few moments. Take some breaths.

For some, this is the first time in a long time you’ve connected with your genitals in this way. It might feel a little funny.

Take some deep breaths, keep sitting in it. 

Your relationship to your body and body acceptance is the first and forever relationship you’ll ever have. People come and go throughout your life, your body is the only constant.

As time goes on, the body shifts and changes. The body needs different things to support itself. Your genitals are a huge part of your body.

Firstly, they’re the reason how you’re here, on Earth. It’s the only way to come to Earth. If it wasn’t for the penis inserting semen into the vagina, you wouldn’t be here.

It’s time to go back to the point of origination - your genitals.

It’s time to give them a stage to be seen and heard.

Practice Body Acceptance

I can’t emphasize this practice enough - to sit with yourself and witness what comes up is one of the most simple and deeply powerful practices for body acceptance.

Think about it – if your genitals had their own personality, what would they be like? Would they be shy or bold, adventurous, or cautious? What do they want and need to feel love and connection from you?

By exploring these questions, you can start to develop a deeper connection with your body and your sexuality.

This approach is especially helpful for people who have experienced trauma or shame around their vagina or penis.

Treating your sacred parts with compassion and kindness is the ticket to sexual liberation.

Wanna kick it up a notch?

Do this in front of the mirror, naked.

Look at your genitals and breathe, as you would in a meditation. Except instead of meditating with your eyes closed, you have your eyes wide open while you gaze at your penis or vulva.

So, the next time you're feeling down about your body or your vagina or penis, try having a conversation with it. Ask it what it needs and how you can support it. Treat your sensual parts like the important and cherished members of yourself that they are.

Remember, loving your body is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to have bad days or moments of self-doubt. But the more you practice body acceptance and positivity, the easier it will become to love yourself just the way you are.

Blessings and hallelujah,

Kelsey Beth